DEAR ABBY: I recently started a romantic relationship with “Doug,” a guy I have been chasing for a while. My friend “Cassie” helped to set us up, and I am grateful. Doug and I talk every night and are very close.
Cassie has a reputation for being a flirt, but I didn’t think much of it. As the months have progressed, I notice her talking to my boyfriend more often. I’m OK with her being friendly, but when she hugs him or tries to always sit next to him, it makes me uncomfortable. I’m scared she’s trying to come between us. Recently she told me that she thinks he’s cute.
She’s always telling me I’m too good for him or I need someone who understands me better. Doug tells me that Cassie is giving me strange looks and telling him that I’m too good for him. I am flattered that she thinks this, but I am scared about her true motivations. — NERVOUS IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR NERVOUS: Stop feeling flattered. Cassie’s motivation may be she’s sorry she fixed you up with Doug because he has begun looking more and more appealing to her. It appears she is trying to manipulate you and Doug into breaking up, and that’s not friendship.
Tell her you and Doug are happy together, you’re NOT “too good” for him and you understand each other very well. Tell her to back off and stop flirting with your boyfriend, and if she doesn’t, recognize it’s time to distance yourself.