Have you ever taken a morning nap? I did just the other day.

I’d gotten up around 6:30 a.m., said a few prayers, did a bunch of work things and by 9:30 I felt like I could use a nap.

Now I don’t typically take a nap in the afternoon much less in the morning, so why did I on this day? I have no idea, but I had an interesting dream during that nap.

In this dream I was inside a trailer parked in someone’s backyard. And I’ve had living-quarters horse trailers more than once in my life so I assumed it was one of those. But this is where it gets weird.

Suddenly someone small jumped onto my back and was riding me piggyback style. Naturally I couldn’t see who it was and when I asked who it was there was no answer so I became a little concerned and eventually rubbed whoever it was off of me.

Looking at where it lay, I saw a toy pillow that you might find in a child’s toy box or on their bed. And I assumed it to be something that had belonged to my son but he is now married with one daughter and another baby boy on the way. So if it was his it had been around awhile, or the setting for this dream was years ago.

This object was cute, blue and the shape of a small couch pillow except it had stubby arms and legs protruding from it. And instead of being completely square, it was rounded at the top with eyes and a mouth.

While it lay motionless, I tried to assess the situation. After all, could a pillow with eyes and legs have really just jumped onto my back?

I immediately assumed that something bad had just taken place. And that the strange situation presented some sort of danger to me, like the blood-thirsty and murderous doll in the movie Chucky might. More importantly, I thought it might also be a danger to my little boy, and so my first reaction was to destroy it.

So I grabbed it, intending to throw it down, stomp on it and kill it and that’s when I discovered that it was full of sand that was leaking out all over as though it was losing sand like someone losing blood.

And when I looked into its eyes it looked sad and afraid and so instead of slamming it down I talked to it and it answered me back.

“I just want to go home,” it said.


“I just want to go back to Texas where I was made,” it said and I suddenly felt deeply sad for it and that’s when I woke up.

Then I lay there for a moment, like Ebenezer Scrooge on Christmas morning, wondering if it was real and what it all meant. It was nothing more than a silly dream, of course, and more than likely about nothing meaningful.

Whatever the case, I still felt embarrassed that I’d been so ready to destroy this poor little thing, bleeding sand, who simply wanted to go home, much like E.T. in that Spielberg movie.

And yet, I had wanted to destroy it simply because it was different.


Kevin Holten is a columnist and executive producer of “Special Cowboy Moments” on RFD-TV.